I am once again struck nearly dumb by the things that happen to women without proper challenge, let alone prevention. Watching it with your daughter feels like the right instinct.
One question keeps nagging at me though, beyond the disgust at what happened to these women.
Which room are we in?
Because somewhere there's a commissioning meeting where this format gets renewed despite containing a clause that literally prevents participants leaving if they wish to. That's not just a safeguarding failure—it's in a contract, a contract that came before any of this debate.
You’ve talked here eloquently in the room where the harm happens. I keep finding myself wanting to know who built the room, and why Channel 4's first public response—from a woman—was about "uncorroborated and contested claims."
Where does that leave our boys, watching the same screen?
I've been writing about exactly this—the silence of decent men, and what we might actually do about the culture we've complacently and complicitly joined.
[Essay “Changing Channels” out Sunday if it's of interest. #TheSilentManority]
Thank you for writing about this Matthew - I will definitely catch your piece on Sunday.
I too, can’t believe a room full of people decided that if a woman is not happy in her ‘relationship’(i.e. holed up in a flat with a man she barely knows) she is not ‘allowed’ to leave. Where is the safeguarding here? What kind of message is this sending?
I noted the reply of ‘uncorroborated and contested claims’ and the distinct lack of an apology … when in doubt, doubt the woman.
Look forward to reading your post and thank you again for witnessing what women have been voicing for so long and for challenging the complacency and complicity that has keeps us chained.
Absolutely shocked at the treatment of young women on this television programme, put at grave risk by a complete lack of safeguarding. How on earth do the ‘experts’ on the show think they can judge how individual people will react in these circumstances ? Then compounded by participants being unable to leave at any time of their own free will. Unbelievable. How did this get past commissioning and lawyers ? Excellent piece, Rebecca, and very enlightening for those of us not familiar with a programme that puts women at risk for public entertainment and financial gain.
I fear there will be more disturbing details to come Maureen. Channel 4 is appealing for any other women who have complaints about their treatment during the show to come forward… not a very reassuring sign. 😔
Seeing as a Channel Four spokesperson first described the women's claims as 'uncorroborated and contested', I can't blame women for feeling that their voices would not be heard if they were brave enough to come forward.
I’ve watched it with my daughter too (not recently). We really need more people calling out the behaviour of these men to educate young women that none of this is okay.
It has been an unexpected source of education for my teenage daughter and myself. I have been constantly surprised by how much of the male behaviour has been attributed to the females not ‘communicating’ well enough. This kind of internalised misogyny is present in some forms of couple therapy - the emphasis being on the woman to inform the man that his behaviour is not acceptable and communicate that effectively. Such a dangerous narrative. It is not our job to be the moderators of male behaviour, the price if we get it ‘wrong’ is too costly for us to pay.
Reality TV, is so far from real life . Unfortunately it hooks viewers and participants , bottom line is its all about revenue and future fame opportunities. Isn’t this concept a step to the left from arranged marriage . It's a good thing mothers can provide guidance on the challenges women face .✌️
I guess, because I don’t watch them, I never think about these kind of shows and their corrosive effects. As a grandmother of boys and girls, just coming up to watching age, I need to take notice so I have some opinions and the right questions to ask them - thank you for guiding me to where I need to put some attention.
MAFS has been an education in so many ways… not sure it will ever make it back on our screens as three more participants have come forward since I wrote the article, all alleging abuse from men. Speaks volumes really..
Thanks Rebecca for sharing this. I have never seen this show and after reading this, you could not pay me to do so. I am however, thankful that you shared this as I agree completely that putting women on tv in harms way in full public view and acting as if this is normal and acceptable clearly shows us that misogyny is alive and well still. Whatever men are willing to do on tv, they are wiling to do a lot worse in private life. I am proud that young women are calling these behaviors for what they are.
That’s why I write Sylvia… I’ll keep bringing up topics that the patriarchy would rather I didn’t. Women like us were born to do it! Thanks so much for reading and engaging.
Thanks Sylvia…I’m proud of these women too. I hope this shines a light on the safety of women in other reality TV shows and for women the world over.
These men were filmed almost every day and interviewed on camera by producers and psychology ‘experts’ on a regular basis. How can men hide behaviour like this whilst under such close scrutiny?
The entitlement of some men never fails to shock and appall me …. Some more than others 🍊🤬
I am often shocked and appalled by these days, sadly. We may not be able to change the behavior of men, but we sure can educate and support women in recognizing and avoiding and saying no to these appalling behaviors. Just as so many of us have been trying to do for so many years. Great topic Rebecca and and again, thanks for bringing this up.
I have not seen one episode of MAFS, but many of my friends love/loved the show. Maybe I’m the weird one because I didn’t get the fuss about Traitors either (watched first 2 episodes of first series only). “Reality” tv is a peculiar phenomenon (imo). The only shows of this ilk I have watched and enjoyed have been Pop Idol, then X-Factor and, most loyally, since its inception = Strictly 💃🏼🕺
I went off Strictly when I didn’t know who half the ‘celebs’ were… especially when the reality TV ‘stars’ started popping up … I mean really, what are they famous for??
MAFS has been an education to my daughter and me… I think God I’m not ‘on the market’ (and if I was ever single again I would happily stay so).
There was something so original and authentic about the likes of Pop Idol and the early X factor days… just average people, with talent trying to hit the big time. Reality TV now is full of wannabe influencers, with very little talent, making as much drama as possible for as many followers as possible.
Many, many excellent points made here. When we are young, we just don’t know the potentiality for trauma, because we most likely haven’t experienced it yet, or very little. If we have, sadly there’s a numbness around our experiences that could leave us open to more.
As a young woman, I worked at Channel 4, first for the Commissioner of Children’s - she brought Sesame Street to the UK. Then I worked in programme planning operating the scheduling system for a couple of years. Channel 4 under the aegis of Jeremy Isaacs and then Paul Bonner (it was only 2 years old when I joined) was seen as a place where progressive programming was made, not this harmful traumatic, dramatic crap.
In fact, I left early Sky TV to join Channel 4 because so many had high hopes for it to change paradigms. Shame on them. Viewing figures do not make legacy.
It really was… it was like a breath of fresh air… my sisters and I used to love programmes like Reportage, think that kind of broadcasting was really influenced me and the whole channel seemed ground breaking at the time. Not so much now though… as sadly this MAFS sorry tale is proving…
Thanks so much for your interesting comments Sarah.
I can remember the excitement and anticipation around the launch of Channel Four… the so called alternative channel. For years it was but programmes like MAFS are not pushing the boundaries, rather they are falling into the very well established boundaries of reality TV… maximum drama =maximum revenue.
Drama is not benign. There is always fall out and it seems the women are, as ever, suffering more than the men.
Who knew a tv show could educate my daughter better than I could? We have learned so much, but I fear there is more to come.
Viewing figures do not make legacy indeed and it may be the legacy of MAFS, will be something Channel Four will have to learn from and pay the price for.
You are welcome, Rebecca. My previous boss (first Sky TV Engineer) made fun of me for going to Channel 4 - it was sorely needed at the time with so much conservative programming.
I never watched MAFS or MAFS Australia. But I did come across a clip on You Tube once, and it made me feel sick. The “experts” were very controlling and used “must”, “should” and “ought” far too often. Like “you must give it a chance”, “you should stick with it” and so on. So, if the experts are saying those things, surely that gives men “permission” to behave however they want and silences the women.
I watched the Remake of Running Man the other night. It was scary to think how close to that our “reality” shows are becoming. There is a complete lack of safeguarding and people are treated as things, not as human beings.
Your daughter sounds like she won’t let anyone silence her, and she knows how she deserves to be treated.
I think there is a book by Ben Elton about a murder in reality TV… a work of fiction that could easily become fact if we don’t take safeguarding seriously and stop exploiting and manipulating people hungry for their 15 minutes of fame.
The ‘experts’ never reference the participants upbringing. You and I know that is a crucial factor in understanding behaviour. Encouraging the participants to ‘communicate better’ totally misses the point of the long held barriers to communication that exist in the first place.
My daughter does have her head screwed on.. I keep it screwed tight! X
I remember reading that book. It was inspired by Big Brother.
Safeguarding of vulnerable people (like the people who would apply for such programmes) is essential. In our church safeguarding is a fundamental principle of the running of the church and we take it seriously. We assume people are vulnerable as a baseline.
Anyway, keep up the great work with your writing and your parenting ❤️
A point on having to share a bed once married - not every (really) married couple share a bed, or even a bedroom. In many cases, this is due to snoring, restless sleep or shift work. It also occurs in older couples, where one person has pain issues. I remember my parents had separate single beds to ensure a good night's sleep - useful if I was ill, as dad slept in my room while I was in the same room as Mum (who could keep an eye on me without having to go from room to room all night).
I've never watched this programme as it never really appealed to me (same with other reality shows) but it sounds way worse than I imagined it was. I know no-one dies in this (maybe reputations) but it reminds me of Gladiators (and not the lycra-clad tv series!) in its cruelty - knowing what I now know, I'd feel a bit "icky" watching it.
It’s definitely moved from a ‘fly on the wall’ type social experiment with a few everyday people to a mega hyped, drama and conflict filled show for some wannabe celebs and social media hawks.
This insistence that the couple were ‘married’ was a kind of brainwashing where people who had only known each other for a couple of weeks were shouting at each other ‘how can you say that, you’re my wife!’… er, no… you have only just met.
There is always a balance with reality show participants between how much they are exploited and how much they are willing to expose.
The women always come off worse and need greater protection.
ICK. I hadn't heard of this show until last week. I heard a group of women talking about it excitedly. I had to look it up. I'll pass thanks. I don't do much TV, never "reality" shows; they're appalling. And, btw, love the new look of your site. The header area is a stunner! xo
Excellent post Rebecca. I admit that I haven't watched MAFS (although I suspect that at least one of my two adult, legally married daughters has).
It came to my attention through the recent allegations of rape on the show. Given the current very lengthy waits for rape trials to come to court (another misogynistic injustice) I imagine that these poor women will not be getting justice soon.
I have felt uneasy about 'reality' shows since the earliest ones. By definition the people putting themselves forward for such shows must have significant vulnerabilities. The shows all work on exposing these to the audience, manipulating in-show relationships, applying pressure. They are a more refined version of the Jeremy Kyle show, which I once saw by mistake, and was utterly horrified by what seemed to be little short of public torture.
It's definitely good that you were able to watch it with Imogen, and that she seems to have a great deal of commonsense!
Thanks Diana - I think its such a shame as, what often starts out as genuine social experimentation into human behaviour, (such as shows like 'Big Brother'), end up being revamped and rebranded as reality TV, with little or no focus on genuine research into human behaviour but exploitative, drama fueled arguments and conflicts between fame hungry/vulnerable individuals. As ever I think that women suffer the most in this and it seems my assessment is proving to be correct with MAFS as it is only women who have come forward to complain.
My daughters do have a lot of common sense - they have spent a lot of time listening to their ranting mother!
Assertiveness is the enemy of bare minimum. If we can speak up and calmly state our wants and needs, they will get met or create an uncomfortable situation. The discomfort is useful to get a reaction. Hopefully they will not try to ruin your job or something, they will adapt or leave. Like you said, "One day we will look back at this and won't believe we allowed this to happen." It's hard for me to watch certain shows because they worry me for the future. Civility and empathy on television is rare. As you said misogyny sells and women continue to pay the price.
Another great piece Rebecca. And your daughter's name is beautiful. Clever girl. Idiot indeed. I used to watch a similar thing called Love Is Blind, I think, with my own daughter early 20s. The 'honeymoons' were always creepy, unnerving. The corporate, forced intimacy troubling. Our shared memory of it is the amount of work some young women in 20s, 30s had done on their faces. Seriously weird.
‘Forced intimacy’ - that’s exactly it, all under the guise of ‘now you have to act like a married couple’… er no, you don’t, nor do you have to share a bed with a man you have just met.
My daughter has learned a lot from it and so have I… looks like the rest of the world is going to get a bit of an education now and not in the way that Channel 4 planned!
It's an aspect of the attention economy. ‘Look at me. Notice me. I am willing to to do all of this for public attention, approval.’ Putting ourselves out on approbation is fundamentally dangerous and its own red flag. Our culture now is about constantly seeking outside affirmation. Hence the cosmetic surgery in beautuful girls and young women. I see that ‘skincare’ for little girls is a thing! Teaching our daughters to stand on their own two feet means teaching them that their sense of self comes from and resides within, not without. The I not the eyes.
Skin care for little girls… that turns my stomach.
It’s so hard to teach our daughters to look inside themselves for validation rather than to socials or skin care floggers. We keep trying though… the cost of not is just too high.
I've never watched it. I was too horrified by the whole premise of the show. I was a teen through the 70s and had more than enough of mysogeny and male self-entitlement then.
I'm glad C4 have pulled all episodes pending investigations, and hope that the recently filmed 2026 version never makes it to screen.
It tells of more than individual male mysogeny; it shows it alive and kicking at corporate level.
I am once again struck nearly dumb by the things that happen to women without proper challenge, let alone prevention. Watching it with your daughter feels like the right instinct.
One question keeps nagging at me though, beyond the disgust at what happened to these women.
Which room are we in?
Because somewhere there's a commissioning meeting where this format gets renewed despite containing a clause that literally prevents participants leaving if they wish to. That's not just a safeguarding failure—it's in a contract, a contract that came before any of this debate.
You’ve talked here eloquently in the room where the harm happens. I keep finding myself wanting to know who built the room, and why Channel 4's first public response—from a woman—was about "uncorroborated and contested claims."
Where does that leave our boys, watching the same screen?
I've been writing about exactly this—the silence of decent men, and what we might actually do about the culture we've complacently and complicitly joined.
[Essay “Changing Channels” out Sunday if it's of interest. #TheSilentManority]
Thank you for writing about this Matthew - I will definitely catch your piece on Sunday.
I too, can’t believe a room full of people decided that if a woman is not happy in her ‘relationship’(i.e. holed up in a flat with a man she barely knows) she is not ‘allowed’ to leave. Where is the safeguarding here? What kind of message is this sending?
I noted the reply of ‘uncorroborated and contested claims’ and the distinct lack of an apology … when in doubt, doubt the woman.
Look forward to reading your post and thank you again for witnessing what women have been voicing for so long and for challenging the complacency and complicity that has keeps us chained.
Absolutely shocked at the treatment of young women on this television programme, put at grave risk by a complete lack of safeguarding. How on earth do the ‘experts’ on the show think they can judge how individual people will react in these circumstances ? Then compounded by participants being unable to leave at any time of their own free will. Unbelievable. How did this get past commissioning and lawyers ? Excellent piece, Rebecca, and very enlightening for those of us not familiar with a programme that puts women at risk for public entertainment and financial gain.
I fear there will be more disturbing details to come Maureen. Channel 4 is appealing for any other women who have complaints about their treatment during the show to come forward… not a very reassuring sign. 😔
Yes, bound to be more, unfortunately. I hope they will come forward
Seeing as a Channel Four spokesperson first described the women's claims as 'uncorroborated and contested', I can't blame women for feeling that their voices would not be heard if they were brave enough to come forward.
I’ve watched it with my daughter too (not recently). We really need more people calling out the behaviour of these men to educate young women that none of this is okay.
It has been an unexpected source of education for my teenage daughter and myself. I have been constantly surprised by how much of the male behaviour has been attributed to the females not ‘communicating’ well enough. This kind of internalised misogyny is present in some forms of couple therapy - the emphasis being on the woman to inform the man that his behaviour is not acceptable and communicate that effectively. Such a dangerous narrative. It is not our job to be the moderators of male behaviour, the price if we get it ‘wrong’ is too costly for us to pay.
Reality TV, is so far from real life . Unfortunately it hooks viewers and participants , bottom line is its all about revenue and future fame opportunities. Isn’t this concept a step to the left from arranged marriage . It's a good thing mothers can provide guidance on the challenges women face .✌️
I guess, because I don’t watch them, I never think about these kind of shows and their corrosive effects. As a grandmother of boys and girls, just coming up to watching age, I need to take notice so I have some opinions and the right questions to ask them - thank you for guiding me to where I need to put some attention.
Thanks Jen.
MAFS has been an education in so many ways… not sure it will ever make it back on our screens as three more participants have come forward since I wrote the article, all alleging abuse from men. Speaks volumes really..
Thanks Rebecca for sharing this. I have never seen this show and after reading this, you could not pay me to do so. I am however, thankful that you shared this as I agree completely that putting women on tv in harms way in full public view and acting as if this is normal and acceptable clearly shows us that misogyny is alive and well still. Whatever men are willing to do on tv, they are wiling to do a lot worse in private life. I am proud that young women are calling these behaviors for what they are.
That’s why I write Sylvia… I’ll keep bringing up topics that the patriarchy would rather I didn’t. Women like us were born to do it! Thanks so much for reading and engaging.
Thanks Sylvia…I’m proud of these women too. I hope this shines a light on the safety of women in other reality TV shows and for women the world over.
These men were filmed almost every day and interviewed on camera by producers and psychology ‘experts’ on a regular basis. How can men hide behaviour like this whilst under such close scrutiny?
The entitlement of some men never fails to shock and appall me …. Some more than others 🍊🤬
I am often shocked and appalled by these days, sadly. We may not be able to change the behavior of men, but we sure can educate and support women in recognizing and avoiding and saying no to these appalling behaviors. Just as so many of us have been trying to do for so many years. Great topic Rebecca and and again, thanks for bringing this up.
My pleasure. Please keep writing Rebecca. This is all so vital to women’s lives and well being.
I have not seen one episode of MAFS, but many of my friends love/loved the show. Maybe I’m the weird one because I didn’t get the fuss about Traitors either (watched first 2 episodes of first series only). “Reality” tv is a peculiar phenomenon (imo). The only shows of this ilk I have watched and enjoyed have been Pop Idol, then X-Factor and, most loyally, since its inception = Strictly 💃🏼🕺
I went off Strictly when I didn’t know who half the ‘celebs’ were… especially when the reality TV ‘stars’ started popping up … I mean really, what are they famous for??
MAFS has been an education to my daughter and me… I think God I’m not ‘on the market’ (and if I was ever single again I would happily stay so).
There was something so original and authentic about the likes of Pop Idol and the early X factor days… just average people, with talent trying to hit the big time. Reality TV now is full of wannabe influencers, with very little talent, making as much drama as possible for as many followers as possible.
The bubble has burst. I think we need a rethink!
Many, many excellent points made here. When we are young, we just don’t know the potentiality for trauma, because we most likely haven’t experienced it yet, or very little. If we have, sadly there’s a numbness around our experiences that could leave us open to more.
As a young woman, I worked at Channel 4, first for the Commissioner of Children’s - she brought Sesame Street to the UK. Then I worked in programme planning operating the scheduling system for a couple of years. Channel 4 under the aegis of Jeremy Isaacs and then Paul Bonner (it was only 2 years old when I joined) was seen as a place where progressive programming was made, not this harmful traumatic, dramatic crap.
In fact, I left early Sky TV to join Channel 4 because so many had high hopes for it to change paradigms. Shame on them. Viewing figures do not make legacy.
It really was… it was like a breath of fresh air… my sisters and I used to love programmes like Reportage, think that kind of broadcasting was really influenced me and the whole channel seemed ground breaking at the time. Not so much now though… as sadly this MAFS sorry tale is proving…
Thanks so much for your interesting comments Sarah.
I can remember the excitement and anticipation around the launch of Channel Four… the so called alternative channel. For years it was but programmes like MAFS are not pushing the boundaries, rather they are falling into the very well established boundaries of reality TV… maximum drama =maximum revenue.
Drama is not benign. There is always fall out and it seems the women are, as ever, suffering more than the men.
Who knew a tv show could educate my daughter better than I could? We have learned so much, but I fear there is more to come.
Viewing figures do not make legacy indeed and it may be the legacy of MAFS, will be something Channel Four will have to learn from and pay the price for.
You are welcome, Rebecca. My previous boss (first Sky TV Engineer) made fun of me for going to Channel 4 - it was sorely needed at the time with so much conservative programming.
Dreadful programme.
I never watched MAFS or MAFS Australia. But I did come across a clip on You Tube once, and it made me feel sick. The “experts” were very controlling and used “must”, “should” and “ought” far too often. Like “you must give it a chance”, “you should stick with it” and so on. So, if the experts are saying those things, surely that gives men “permission” to behave however they want and silences the women.
I watched the Remake of Running Man the other night. It was scary to think how close to that our “reality” shows are becoming. There is a complete lack of safeguarding and people are treated as things, not as human beings.
Your daughter sounds like she won’t let anyone silence her, and she knows how she deserves to be treated.
Thank you, Rebecca x
Thanks Suze.
I think there is a book by Ben Elton about a murder in reality TV… a work of fiction that could easily become fact if we don’t take safeguarding seriously and stop exploiting and manipulating people hungry for their 15 minutes of fame.
The ‘experts’ never reference the participants upbringing. You and I know that is a crucial factor in understanding behaviour. Encouraging the participants to ‘communicate better’ totally misses the point of the long held barriers to communication that exist in the first place.
My daughter does have her head screwed on.. I keep it screwed tight! X
I remember reading that book. It was inspired by Big Brother.
Safeguarding of vulnerable people (like the people who would apply for such programmes) is essential. In our church safeguarding is a fundamental principle of the running of the church and we take it seriously. We assume people are vulnerable as a baseline.
Anyway, keep up the great work with your writing and your parenting ❤️
I think that is a great baseline to start from Suzanne - assume people are vulnerable and work from there.
Thanks for your lovely comments 💓
A point on having to share a bed once married - not every (really) married couple share a bed, or even a bedroom. In many cases, this is due to snoring, restless sleep or shift work. It also occurs in older couples, where one person has pain issues. I remember my parents had separate single beds to ensure a good night's sleep - useful if I was ill, as dad slept in my room while I was in the same room as Mum (who could keep an eye on me without having to go from room to room all night).
I've never watched this programme as it never really appealed to me (same with other reality shows) but it sounds way worse than I imagined it was. I know no-one dies in this (maybe reputations) but it reminds me of Gladiators (and not the lycra-clad tv series!) in its cruelty - knowing what I now know, I'd feel a bit "icky" watching it.
It’s definitely moved from a ‘fly on the wall’ type social experiment with a few everyday people to a mega hyped, drama and conflict filled show for some wannabe celebs and social media hawks.
This insistence that the couple were ‘married’ was a kind of brainwashing where people who had only known each other for a couple of weeks were shouting at each other ‘how can you say that, you’re my wife!’… er, no… you have only just met.
There is always a balance with reality show participants between how much they are exploited and how much they are willing to expose.
The women always come off worse and need greater protection.
ICK. I hadn't heard of this show until last week. I heard a group of women talking about it excitedly. I had to look it up. I'll pass thanks. I don't do much TV, never "reality" shows; they're appalling. And, btw, love the new look of your site. The header area is a stunner! xo
Thanks Nan - I am so professional now with my new wordmark😊 (didn't even know what that was until a few weeks ago).
You are wise to give reality TV a miss - it kind of comes with the territory though when you have teenagers! X
Excellent post Rebecca. I admit that I haven't watched MAFS (although I suspect that at least one of my two adult, legally married daughters has).
It came to my attention through the recent allegations of rape on the show. Given the current very lengthy waits for rape trials to come to court (another misogynistic injustice) I imagine that these poor women will not be getting justice soon.
I have felt uneasy about 'reality' shows since the earliest ones. By definition the people putting themselves forward for such shows must have significant vulnerabilities. The shows all work on exposing these to the audience, manipulating in-show relationships, applying pressure. They are a more refined version of the Jeremy Kyle show, which I once saw by mistake, and was utterly horrified by what seemed to be little short of public torture.
It's definitely good that you were able to watch it with Imogen, and that she seems to have a great deal of commonsense!
Thanks Diana - I think its such a shame as, what often starts out as genuine social experimentation into human behaviour, (such as shows like 'Big Brother'), end up being revamped and rebranded as reality TV, with little or no focus on genuine research into human behaviour but exploitative, drama fueled arguments and conflicts between fame hungry/vulnerable individuals. As ever I think that women suffer the most in this and it seems my assessment is proving to be correct with MAFS as it is only women who have come forward to complain.
My daughters do have a lot of common sense - they have spent a lot of time listening to their ranting mother!
Assertiveness is the enemy of bare minimum. If we can speak up and calmly state our wants and needs, they will get met or create an uncomfortable situation. The discomfort is useful to get a reaction. Hopefully they will not try to ruin your job or something, they will adapt or leave. Like you said, "One day we will look back at this and won't believe we allowed this to happen." It's hard for me to watch certain shows because they worry me for the future. Civility and empathy on television is rare. As you said misogyny sells and women continue to pay the price.
Women always paying the price, and the corporations reap the rewards.
I’m not celebrating the bare minimum, I’m not even accepting it anymore. Step up men, women have had to for generations.
yes!
I hadn't hoped to watch it...just the news as it emerged - quite enough 😕
More than enough Janey - does this misogyny ever end? 😞
At least we know now that it's unacceptable…yet still we let it go 😔
Another great piece Rebecca. And your daughter's name is beautiful. Clever girl. Idiot indeed. I used to watch a similar thing called Love Is Blind, I think, with my own daughter early 20s. The 'honeymoons' were always creepy, unnerving. The corporate, forced intimacy troubling. Our shared memory of it is the amount of work some young women in 20s, 30s had done on their faces. Seriously weird.
‘Forced intimacy’ - that’s exactly it, all under the guise of ‘now you have to act like a married couple’… er no, you don’t, nor do you have to share a bed with a man you have just met.
My daughter has learned a lot from it and so have I… looks like the rest of the world is going to get a bit of an education now and not in the way that Channel 4 planned!
It's an aspect of the attention economy. ‘Look at me. Notice me. I am willing to to do all of this for public attention, approval.’ Putting ourselves out on approbation is fundamentally dangerous and its own red flag. Our culture now is about constantly seeking outside affirmation. Hence the cosmetic surgery in beautuful girls and young women. I see that ‘skincare’ for little girls is a thing! Teaching our daughters to stand on their own two feet means teaching them that their sense of self comes from and resides within, not without. The I not the eyes.
Skin care for little girls… that turns my stomach.
It’s so hard to teach our daughters to look inside themselves for validation rather than to socials or skin care floggers. We keep trying though… the cost of not is just too high.
I've never watched it. I was too horrified by the whole premise of the show. I was a teen through the 70s and had more than enough of mysogeny and male self-entitlement then.
I'm glad C4 have pulled all episodes pending investigations, and hope that the recently filmed 2026 version never makes it to screen.
It tells of more than individual male mysogeny; it shows it alive and kicking at corporate level.
Sadly seems where there is money to be made Amanda, women's safety is easily compromised... in plain sight!