I don't know you, but I love this and am so happy for you! Making decisions, big ones, with your body instead of your head is so subversive and liberating. Well done!!! And I hope your back continues to improve x
Thank you so much Laura. I wrote it about me but I hope it speaks to everyone. Take the time, before your body makes you take it or there is no more time to take.
My back is feeling good and I’m thinking about doing some gentle Pilates… 🧘♀️. I’m coming back to life. X
Yes I don’t feel brave but I suppose it is. It was almost like an out of body experience! Couldn’t believe I was actually doing it but you are right, it was just a case of being honest with myself and my manager. And I’m so glad I was ☺️
You are so wise, Rebecca. I would advise everyone who can,to follow suit. I couldn’t and I hope my experience will further reassure you in any moments of doubt you might have.
I spent almost 35 years in clinical roles in the NHS. I started off in excellent health but for the last 15 years was disabled. As a single parent I had to keep going and my conditions started to mount up, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Osteopenia, Breast Cancer, Lymphoedema, Silent stroke leading to Temporal lobe epilepsy. Up until the surgery for Breast Cancer I worked extra shifts when I could and often did agency work in my annual leave.
The Saturday following Thursday’s Breast biopsies, I was due to do an overtime clinic to reduce the waiting list. I needed the extra money so it wasn’t an option to find someone to cover for me. An artery had been accidentally hit during the biopsy of one of the breasts and it was very bruised, throbbing and absolutely enormous. Luckily I was with a lovely colleague and we both arrived very early. She got two soft cotton slings from A&E and constructed a support system across my chest, and then covered everything up with my oversized teeshirt. Unfortunately we hadn’t noticed the door of the clinical room falling open and that a very elderly male patient, unable to find anyone so early at reception, had quietly taken a seat in the corner of the room.
I hope he wasn’t too traumatised by the experience !
Reading this Maureen, my first thought was ‘ I have to write about women like Maureen’. How much did you have to go through? I am incensed on your behalf. 🤬
I watched my mum’s health deteriorate as a Health Visitor (she is practically bed bound now and never recovered from the stress of being a healthcare worker and a mother). Two of the most important jobs in the world. So many women struggling through the same. You have not heard the last of this Maureen. I hope things are easier for you and you are enjoying each day… you deserve every happy moment.
♥️ (and I hope that elderly male patient didn’t request a repeat appointment the following week 🤣).
This exchange left me both laughing and crying. I feel your pain. Two knee replacements, two shoulder replacements, breast cancer, only one heart attack. Today I found out that, despite having shed all of my allergies, my allergist drew a blood sample to screen for anything missed in the skin test. A fungal infection has reared its’ slimy head. Great. I think we all need to meet at the nearest charming pub and lift many pints and glasses of wine to LIFE. I will gladly come across the pond to you, because life here in the United States of Avarice and dysfunction has gotten quite contentious and unrecognizable. For God’s sake, girls, we need some fun and hi-jinks! We doth protest very much!
I read this reply this morning and I have been desperate to reply all day (ironically I have been working). I bloody love this exchange. This is what
This Woman's Work (TWW) is all about. Community.
Women supporting women. Real connection across towns, cities, countries. the world!
Get on that plane Susan... I'll be waiting at the airport to collect you before we head off to the nearest pub to meet Maureen and all the other wonderful TWW members. My God Susan, you have been through so much. Too much. If I could book the flight for you l would! All I can do is keep growing this community and protect this space for beautiful exchanges like this. Community is everything (and you know who would hate that… that big orange 🍊 felon!). Plenty of fun and hi jinks yet to come, there’s life in the old girls yet 💃🏻 ❤️
Susan, you are truly magnificent! We would be honoured to meet you and raise a cup, glass, tankard to Life and Women everywhere! You are so right, it never seems to finish and I’m now awaiting a diagnosis from the Endocrine clinic. Sending a big hug and best wishes 💕
Let’s raise a glass to life and women everywhere Maureen… 🍷 🍺 ☕️. We have tolerated too much for too long. Hoping you get the results you want from the endocrine clinic 🙏. Sending you a big hug and best wishes 💕
Thanks so much, Rebecca. You are such a source of encouragement to all. Big hug to you too and I’m sure your back will benefit from you being able to focus on your health soon. Retirement has allowed me the time to listen to my body and adjust to its needs. Cheers to this new phase in your life, Rebecca ! You are not coming to a halt, but branching out onto new paths. 💕
Good for you , I’m so envious, I work in adult social care as a social worker in a team that is 4 previous teams rolled into one ! My god it’s like banging your head on a brick wall , the constant battles with CHC , our own senior leadership 😤😤 no one has any money, nothing gets approved, we have had everything stripped away from us and funding panels with 6 managers/ directors for everything, even an an extra 15 mins to help Gloria get her stockings on has to be agreed at panel! It’s the most stressful job ever! But I also do love it , but wish I had something less stressful!!!
Being a single mum with one income I feel totally trapped and I can’t afford a pay cut , even then I’m not sure a different job would be less stressful!!
Oh I hear this. Smaller teams, bigger caseloads, smaller budgets, longer waiting lists, sicker staff, early retirements and midlife change of careers… when will them in charge ever learn that the system just does not work!
God I wish you well Francis. I hope you find a way out (or at least a better job), or a millionaire who wants to whisk you away from it all… any of the above! ✈️ 🤞🏻
This post really resonates. I struggled on with my NHS role for 4 years after my husband died in 2016.
A counsellor could see how I was overwhelmed with our whole family complex grief recovery. My son couldn’t even attend school.
She gave me the nudge and permission I needed to finally hand in my notice after 30 years of working as an NHS dietitian and breastfeeding counsellor.
It was a tough decision. I clung onto my NHS role for some sense of normality and due to my financial anxiety. However I had to reframe my role at home and value it as most important. I had to reframe self-care as not selfish. It’s the opposite of selfish. When we care for ourselves, especially as a mum everyone benefits.
Sending best wishes for your next, hopefully much more comfortable, steps ❤️🩹
This is so true Piata… the better I feel, the better everyone seems to feel in our house… it’s actually a huge responsibility, more than full time work, no annual leave, no sick days… it’s all work. Working on ourselves is not self serving… it’s serves us all. I’m looking forward to my next tentative steps… Will keep you updated ♥️
I was a mental health nurse with 30+ years experience & literally had a "£uck this $hit, I'm outta here" moment a couple of years ago. I was in a senior clinical/management role & loved my job, but hated all the bollox that went with it - since becoming 'gainfully Unemployed', I haven't missed a single thing about it - my good buddy, who I used to work with, is still my good buddy & we meet up regularly, but never ever revisit our mutual professional careers. You will thrive & I wish you well in the big world 😎❤️
Thank you so much PEssDee. I spent 5 years working in mental health… I loved it, loved the patients, my colleagues were amazing, the system (as ever) sucked.
You’re right about having a ‘moment’… I didn’t plan to leave that morning, half of me couldn’t believe I was doing it but I’m so freaking glad I did.
Here’s to the gainfully unemployed ex- healthcare workers… what a fab club to be part of! ☺️❤️
Wow!! Good luck! Liberation mixed with a bit of fear! Wendy stopped work a few months ago, partly because her charity which she managed lost its funding but also because it was just too much. She now works only 3 hours a week and says the constant stress has gone! I am delighted! We are lucky because the mortgage is paid and for quite a few months we will be able to manage on my part time wages. We live frugally apart from my alcohol and doing things like pet sitting means we can still have lovely holidays. Good luck and I hope it carries on feeling as good as it does now!!
Thanks so much Graham. Good to know I’m not the only one who has chosen a different path. My husband is thrilled too… Its only been a week (and I’m still working) but I’m more relaxed already and everyone benefits from that. I’m lucky we live near a park, a river and some gorgeous walks.. I can take my own coffee and lose myself… both free and priceless.. long may it last!
Thanks Joanna. I keep seeing you writing about job interviews and here’s me exiting stage left! It is what it is. I’ve done my time. Having a job can be a wonderful part of life and I have enjoyed so many of my professional days but it’s time for a different kind of work. Good luck with your job search too…lucky is the employer who manages to find you. ❤️
Well done you Rebecca. I have absolutely no doubt that an exciting new chapter is in the offing and you will have no regrets. And re the sipped discs I feel your pain. Excruciating! Has happened twice to me. Pilates and body pump (lifting weights) have been a game changer ….and not sitting at a desk for long periods of time.
Thanks so much Tess, great advice. I want to get into lifting weights and pilates - looks like I will have some time now. Sitting at a desk is a killer for me and I literally felt anchored to do my desk during work hours, move for a second and the whole thing goes to pot. No more. I will work at my own pace. For once in my life. Feels like winning the lottery🎉
This was a great read and really resonated with me. I also handed my notice in two weeks for not too dissimilar reasons to you - I have young children and I want to be around for them more while they still need and want me. I immediately feel lighter, as you say. I hope this new phase of life is good to you!
Thanks Kate… I feel so much lighter too, everything feels lighter… why didn’t I do this ages ago?
Glad you are getting the chance to spend time with your children. My mum never did (she worked full time for decades). She always regretted it and it is still a bone of contention between her and my dad. You have do what’s right for you. No regrets.
Looking forward to hearing more from you, now we are both exiting the (paid) labour market.
Well done you! I wager that after a few months you'll wonder how you ever had the time for your 'proper' job. I also wager your days will be richer, with all those under valued things in life that we miss when we're stressed and overwhelmed. All the best, and hope you're back recovers now it can rest, the body really does keep score, second time I've heard that this week x
Thanks Wendy… I think you are right. I have been cramming so much into every week, now I get to savour life and appreciate it… what could be richer than that?
I will be writing though, and advocating and campaigning…the world is going to hell in a handcart, can’t spend all my days in a blissful retirement haze.
The body does keep score…that really should go on a t shirt… I want the world to know! X
Oh Rebecca, sending you so much love for your poor back. And also, congratulations! You chose you, one of the hardest choices we ever have to make. So inspired by you and cheering you on all the way! ❤️
Thank you so much Ingrid. I really want to write a permission piece about this. Just a few more weeks of work to go and then I will write something and send it over to you.
I really think you naming ‘permission’ as a concept helped me figure out what I needed. Big thank you and love to you for helping me give myself permission to live more authentically ♥️
Bravo! Onwards and upwards with your new career and taking care of yourself. I hope to do similar in the near future, just waiting for the final straw. Good luck!
Thank you so much Joanna. Hope your final straw comes quickly… who would have thought a performance review would be the end of me? I’ve sat through hundreds. Couldn’t take one more. Keep us posted on the straw that finally breaks your own particular camel’s back… we could start a club!
It is a scary transition, but incredibly worthwhile imho, from being told what you can and can't do or say to having the locus of control shifting to you being you. It is fantastic - Since starting the "Gainfully Unemployed Club", I have been able to explorw and develop so many things that being beholden to an employer wouldn't permit - not all have been successful nor, been the smartest concepts, but they were me exploring me on my terms and that in itself is a win.
I love this. This is one part of the reason I need to leave - I need to explore so many different creative, personal and professional possibilities and I am running out of time. I have lived more than I have left to live - I want to make every second count and be fit and well enough to enjoy my life, not struggle through in pain. Life on my own terms ... surely not too much to ask as I pass my half century mark? I may be living off beans on toast but so be it... life is just too short! I can't wait ... glad to have your company on this exciting ride!
I don't know you, but I love this and am so happy for you! Making decisions, big ones, with your body instead of your head is so subversive and liberating. Well done!!! And I hope your back continues to improve x
Thank you so much Laura. I wrote it about me but I hope it speaks to everyone. Take the time, before your body makes you take it or there is no more time to take.
My back is feeling good and I’m thinking about doing some gentle Pilates… 🧘♀️. I’m coming back to life. X
I made a similar decision in 2019. Most people thought I was either reckless or brave, but really I was just -- finally -- being honest.
Yes I don’t feel brave but I suppose it is. It was almost like an out of body experience! Couldn’t believe I was actually doing it but you are right, it was just a case of being honest with myself and my manager. And I’m so glad I was ☺️
Thanks so much Zivah… my real work is calling and I can’t ignore it any longer… come along for the ride!
You are so wise, Rebecca. I would advise everyone who can,to follow suit. I couldn’t and I hope my experience will further reassure you in any moments of doubt you might have.
I spent almost 35 years in clinical roles in the NHS. I started off in excellent health but for the last 15 years was disabled. As a single parent I had to keep going and my conditions started to mount up, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Osteopenia, Breast Cancer, Lymphoedema, Silent stroke leading to Temporal lobe epilepsy. Up until the surgery for Breast Cancer I worked extra shifts when I could and often did agency work in my annual leave.
The Saturday following Thursday’s Breast biopsies, I was due to do an overtime clinic to reduce the waiting list. I needed the extra money so it wasn’t an option to find someone to cover for me. An artery had been accidentally hit during the biopsy of one of the breasts and it was very bruised, throbbing and absolutely enormous. Luckily I was with a lovely colleague and we both arrived very early. She got two soft cotton slings from A&E and constructed a support system across my chest, and then covered everything up with my oversized teeshirt. Unfortunately we hadn’t noticed the door of the clinical room falling open and that a very elderly male patient, unable to find anyone so early at reception, had quietly taken a seat in the corner of the room.
I hope he wasn’t too traumatised by the experience !
Glad to have company on this new and exciting path Maureen… so much more to come for both of us . ❤️
Reading this Maureen, my first thought was ‘ I have to write about women like Maureen’. How much did you have to go through? I am incensed on your behalf. 🤬
I watched my mum’s health deteriorate as a Health Visitor (she is practically bed bound now and never recovered from the stress of being a healthcare worker and a mother). Two of the most important jobs in the world. So many women struggling through the same. You have not heard the last of this Maureen. I hope things are easier for you and you are enjoying each day… you deserve every happy moment.
♥️ (and I hope that elderly male patient didn’t request a repeat appointment the following week 🤣).
😂 😂 Thank you, Rebecca. I so love your last comment. My sense of humour is still intact (even if all body parts aren’t) Best wishes to your Mum 💕
Thanks Maureen, I will pass on your best wishes.
Got to laugh haven’t you? (albeit hysterically sometimes). 😂💕
This exchange left me both laughing and crying. I feel your pain. Two knee replacements, two shoulder replacements, breast cancer, only one heart attack. Today I found out that, despite having shed all of my allergies, my allergist drew a blood sample to screen for anything missed in the skin test. A fungal infection has reared its’ slimy head. Great. I think we all need to meet at the nearest charming pub and lift many pints and glasses of wine to LIFE. I will gladly come across the pond to you, because life here in the United States of Avarice and dysfunction has gotten quite contentious and unrecognizable. For God’s sake, girls, we need some fun and hi-jinks! We doth protest very much!
I read this reply this morning and I have been desperate to reply all day (ironically I have been working). I bloody love this exchange. This is what
This Woman's Work (TWW) is all about. Community.
Women supporting women. Real connection across towns, cities, countries. the world!
Get on that plane Susan... I'll be waiting at the airport to collect you before we head off to the nearest pub to meet Maureen and all the other wonderful TWW members. My God Susan, you have been through so much. Too much. If I could book the flight for you l would! All I can do is keep growing this community and protect this space for beautiful exchanges like this. Community is everything (and you know who would hate that… that big orange 🍊 felon!). Plenty of fun and hi jinks yet to come, there’s life in the old girls yet 💃🏻 ❤️
Susan, you are truly magnificent! We would be honoured to meet you and raise a cup, glass, tankard to Life and Women everywhere! You are so right, it never seems to finish and I’m now awaiting a diagnosis from the Endocrine clinic. Sending a big hug and best wishes 💕
Let’s raise a glass to life and women everywhere Maureen… 🍷 🍺 ☕️. We have tolerated too much for too long. Hoping you get the results you want from the endocrine clinic 🙏. Sending you a big hug and best wishes 💕
Thanks so much, Rebecca. You are such a source of encouragement to all. Big hug to you too and I’m sure your back will benefit from you being able to focus on your health soon. Retirement has allowed me the time to listen to my body and adjust to its needs. Cheers to this new phase in your life, Rebecca ! You are not coming to a halt, but branching out onto new paths. 💕
Good for you , I’m so envious, I work in adult social care as a social worker in a team that is 4 previous teams rolled into one ! My god it’s like banging your head on a brick wall , the constant battles with CHC , our own senior leadership 😤😤 no one has any money, nothing gets approved, we have had everything stripped away from us and funding panels with 6 managers/ directors for everything, even an an extra 15 mins to help Gloria get her stockings on has to be agreed at panel! It’s the most stressful job ever! But I also do love it , but wish I had something less stressful!!!
Being a single mum with one income I feel totally trapped and I can’t afford a pay cut , even then I’m not sure a different job would be less stressful!!
Oh I hear this. Smaller teams, bigger caseloads, smaller budgets, longer waiting lists, sicker staff, early retirements and midlife change of careers… when will them in charge ever learn that the system just does not work!
God I wish you well Francis. I hope you find a way out (or at least a better job), or a millionaire who wants to whisk you away from it all… any of the above! ✈️ 🤞🏻
Here’s wishing 😆
Manifesting it for you 🧘♀️ 😉
Hehe thanks 🙏🏼
This post really resonates. I struggled on with my NHS role for 4 years after my husband died in 2016.
A counsellor could see how I was overwhelmed with our whole family complex grief recovery. My son couldn’t even attend school.
She gave me the nudge and permission I needed to finally hand in my notice after 30 years of working as an NHS dietitian and breastfeeding counsellor.
It was a tough decision. I clung onto my NHS role for some sense of normality and due to my financial anxiety. However I had to reframe my role at home and value it as most important. I had to reframe self-care as not selfish. It’s the opposite of selfish. When we care for ourselves, especially as a mum everyone benefits.
Sending best wishes for your next, hopefully much more comfortable, steps ❤️🩹
This is so true Piata… the better I feel, the better everyone seems to feel in our house… it’s actually a huge responsibility, more than full time work, no annual leave, no sick days… it’s all work. Working on ourselves is not self serving… it’s serves us all. I’m looking forward to my next tentative steps… Will keep you updated ♥️
I was a mental health nurse with 30+ years experience & literally had a "£uck this $hit, I'm outta here" moment a couple of years ago. I was in a senior clinical/management role & loved my job, but hated all the bollox that went with it - since becoming 'gainfully Unemployed', I haven't missed a single thing about it - my good buddy, who I used to work with, is still my good buddy & we meet up regularly, but never ever revisit our mutual professional careers. You will thrive & I wish you well in the big world 😎❤️
Thank you so much PEssDee. I spent 5 years working in mental health… I loved it, loved the patients, my colleagues were amazing, the system (as ever) sucked.
You’re right about having a ‘moment’… I didn’t plan to leave that morning, half of me couldn’t believe I was doing it but I’m so freaking glad I did.
Here’s to the gainfully unemployed ex- healthcare workers… what a fab club to be part of! ☺️❤️
Wow!! Good luck! Liberation mixed with a bit of fear! Wendy stopped work a few months ago, partly because her charity which she managed lost its funding but also because it was just too much. She now works only 3 hours a week and says the constant stress has gone! I am delighted! We are lucky because the mortgage is paid and for quite a few months we will be able to manage on my part time wages. We live frugally apart from my alcohol and doing things like pet sitting means we can still have lovely holidays. Good luck and I hope it carries on feeling as good as it does now!!
Thanks so much Graham. Good to know I’m not the only one who has chosen a different path. My husband is thrilled too… Its only been a week (and I’m still working) but I’m more relaxed already and everyone benefits from that. I’m lucky we live near a park, a river and some gorgeous walks.. I can take my own coffee and lose myself… both free and priceless.. long may it last!
I thinks it's awesome . And yes scary too. A next chapter with lots to rediscover and uncover. Bravo Rebecca 👏 Take care of yourself 🌞✌️
Thanks so much Frances… yes a new chapter… keep reading, there will be so much more to come. X
What an inspiring article and what a fantastic last line. Go Rebecca 👏
Thanks Joanna. I keep seeing you writing about job interviews and here’s me exiting stage left! It is what it is. I’ve done my time. Having a job can be a wonderful part of life and I have enjoyed so many of my professional days but it’s time for a different kind of work. Good luck with your job search too…lucky is the employer who manages to find you. ❤️
Well done you Rebecca. I have absolutely no doubt that an exciting new chapter is in the offing and you will have no regrets. And re the sipped discs I feel your pain. Excruciating! Has happened twice to me. Pilates and body pump (lifting weights) have been a game changer ….and not sitting at a desk for long periods of time.
Thanks so much Tess, great advice. I want to get into lifting weights and pilates - looks like I will have some time now. Sitting at a desk is a killer for me and I literally felt anchored to do my desk during work hours, move for a second and the whole thing goes to pot. No more. I will work at my own pace. For once in my life. Feels like winning the lottery🎉
This was a great read and really resonated with me. I also handed my notice in two weeks for not too dissimilar reasons to you - I have young children and I want to be around for them more while they still need and want me. I immediately feel lighter, as you say. I hope this new phase of life is good to you!
Thanks Kate… I feel so much lighter too, everything feels lighter… why didn’t I do this ages ago?
Glad you are getting the chance to spend time with your children. My mum never did (she worked full time for decades). She always regretted it and it is still a bone of contention between her and my dad. You have do what’s right for you. No regrets.
Looking forward to hearing more from you, now we are both exiting the (paid) labour market.
Well done you! I wager that after a few months you'll wonder how you ever had the time for your 'proper' job. I also wager your days will be richer, with all those under valued things in life that we miss when we're stressed and overwhelmed. All the best, and hope you're back recovers now it can rest, the body really does keep score, second time I've heard that this week x
Thanks Wendy… I think you are right. I have been cramming so much into every week, now I get to savour life and appreciate it… what could be richer than that?
I will be writing though, and advocating and campaigning…the world is going to hell in a handcart, can’t spend all my days in a blissful retirement haze.
The body does keep score…that really should go on a t shirt… I want the world to know! X
Big change! Many blessings in this new chapter.
Thank you so much Mary… you have been here since the beginning of my Substack journey… hope you stick around for more X
Rebecca, looking forward to it!
❤️
Good for you Rebecca, this is so exciting! I'm looking forward to reading more of your writing ❤️
Thank you so much… there will definitely be more writing on the horizon… I just can’t wait ❤️
Oh Rebecca, sending you so much love for your poor back. And also, congratulations! You chose you, one of the hardest choices we ever have to make. So inspired by you and cheering you on all the way! ❤️
Thank you so much Ingrid. I really want to write a permission piece about this. Just a few more weeks of work to go and then I will write something and send it over to you.
I really think you naming ‘permission’ as a concept helped me figure out what I needed. Big thank you and love to you for helping me give myself permission to live more authentically ♥️
Bravo! Onwards and upwards with your new career and taking care of yourself. I hope to do similar in the near future, just waiting for the final straw. Good luck!
Thank you so much Joanna. Hope your final straw comes quickly… who would have thought a performance review would be the end of me? I’ve sat through hundreds. Couldn’t take one more. Keep us posted on the straw that finally breaks your own particular camel’s back… we could start a club!
It is a scary transition, but incredibly worthwhile imho, from being told what you can and can't do or say to having the locus of control shifting to you being you. It is fantastic - Since starting the "Gainfully Unemployed Club", I have been able to explorw and develop so many things that being beholden to an employer wouldn't permit - not all have been successful nor, been the smartest concepts, but they were me exploring me on my terms and that in itself is a win.
Cue mic drop ......
Boom......
I love this. This is one part of the reason I need to leave - I need to explore so many different creative, personal and professional possibilities and I am running out of time. I have lived more than I have left to live - I want to make every second count and be fit and well enough to enjoy my life, not struggle through in pain. Life on my own terms ... surely not too much to ask as I pass my half century mark? I may be living off beans on toast but so be it... life is just too short! I can't wait ... glad to have your company on this exciting ride!