Why I left Midwifery

And how I have found another way to be 'with woman'.

I came late to midwifery. I was 27, earing 25k year as Personal Assistant to a group of corporate directors (free gym, nice offices, lovely boss). It wasn’t enough. I had a calling. Possibly a catholic or middle daughter thing I don’t know. I just knew I wanted to help people and midwifery looked like the perfect job. Women centred, empowering work and oodles of babies to cuddle (whilst training I did a two-week placement on a special care baby unit where my main job was to sit, skin to skin cuddling prem babies in my cleavage - after the two weeks ended, they practically had to escort me off the ward. It was joyous).

I knew instantly at my university interview that this was the career, no the place for me. Following the interview, I had to return to the office of the midwifery lecturer who had just interviewed me. She was sat at her desk, swinging on her chair, shoes off, chatting animatedly to her colleague who was curled up on the sofa. ‘I’m home’, I thought. ‘I want to stay in this world forever.’

The training lasted 3 years and was hard going from the start.  We spent half the week working on the wards and the other half studying in classrooms. There were no long holidays like other students and if you missed a shift (even due to illness) you were required to make up the hours in your own time meaning most ‘holidays’ were spent back on the wards. We were paid a small (un liveable on) bursary which has since been stopped. The real payment came in the satisfaction of learning and experiencing the craft you loved.

Love struck I was. Many a time I walked on air as I bounced home remembering the beautiful newborn that had just been miraculously pushed into my hands. However, as time progressed, I missed (ignored) the emerging red flags.