Well I guess it would be nice....

Wouldn't it be nice to know we are on the right track, to know it will all work out in the end, to know this too shall pass? Here's how we are going to do it.....

Cometh the hour, cometh the man.

Did you miss me?

I didn’t post last week as I was otherwise engaged. Not ill. Well not well either. I was prepping for a colonoscopy. Three nausea-inducing days of eating fibreless white foods only (think white fish, cauliflower florets, rice crispies and Madeira cake). Yuk. Totally killed my writing muse.

The fourth day was the icing on the very bland cake – no food for 24 hours and three loads of laxatives.

The fifth day was the main event.

The six, seventh and eighth days were spent recovering from the heady cocktail of fentanyl and midazolam.

Its day ten now and I am beginning to feel almost normal but still astounded by how anyone could take fentanyl on a regular basis -the space cadet vibe is not for me.

The colonoscopy was fine. Nothing abnormal detected. Those three magic words. But I am left feeling my life is not very normal at the moment and I am wondering what ‘normal’ even feels like anymore.

It has been 6 months since I rather dramatically handed in my notice at work in pursuit of the writing life. Is that a long time? I am unsure. What did I expect would happen in half a year…write a Sunday Times bestseller and bag a regular column in The Guardian (not to mention garnering top spot in the Substack charts along with a million readers on Medium)?

Of course not. But maybe yes. But actually no. I remain unsure. I have had pieces go viral on Substack before, it’s a lot to take in. Anxiety provoking yet affirming. Stressful yet satisfying. Success is not always easy to manage but then again nor is failure. It’s hard to know where to land with this writing life.

I have had success with my writing in the past 6 months. Gained generous, wonderful paid subscribers. Steadily increased my free subscribers. Had an essay translated into French and published on another authors Substack (bien fait moi!).

I have enjoyed wonderful engagement in the comment section and notes. Progressed well with my book. Had a jolly time really.

But I am having to put my faith in an uncertain future.