Excellent post Rebecca - and we've all been that cocky person at the beginning of our careers. Some take a much longer time to learn. Whatever it is that you're dealing with, I know from experience that it is hardest of all to apply your hard won wisdom to yourself. Be gentle with yourself and don't expect that you should be coping better than you are!
Thank you so much Diana… thank you for giving me permission to allow myself to not cope like I think I should.. I needed that and I appreciate your wisdom and sixth sense. X
Thanks Sylvia, rest assured I’m fine, processing and sitting with my thoughts and feelings (however uncomfortable that might be). We are all processing so much ‘news’ aren’t we, personal, professional, political… I keep telling myself, ‘it’s just news’… try it X
I can think of several times when I've received life changing news and the most helpful thing was when someone could just be with me and listen to how it felt for me. The most difficult times have been when I've tried to take the weight of that news for others and didn't talk about how it affected me. For someone to sit and listen without trying to fix anything is a gift .
That really is the gift Karen… just sitting and being and keeping that space wide open whilst being able to reflect silently on our own emotions and thoughts. Done well it can make such a difference but I like you often want to ‘make it better’ (have felt like this all week). I’m trying just to hold the space, make myself available but manage my own emotions in the process. Tough week, but writing has helped plus all the amazing support of this community. 💫
I have received and given life changing news. And, as you say, the best response from others was being given time and space to process it all. Not to try to fix it, or tell me how to feel (the amount of times people said “oh, don’t cry, he wouldn’t want you to be upset” after my husband died was l lot, and I bloomin’ hope he wanted me to be upset because I’d I wasn’t, did I even love him?)
No judgment, no panic, Rebecca. Just give yourself time and space to let it filter through your mind and I hope you have trusted people to talk to.
Thanks so much Suze… time and space, so important but so difficult when you just want to rush to make it all better. Have spoken to a few friends today and cried when I have needed to.
A good cry is a natural antidepressant. It is so tempting to try and stop people’s tears with platitudes but the body knows what it needs and there is healing in tears. Thanks for your kind words and support. What an amazing community this is … in such a cruel world.
Yes, time, space and being able to cry are so important. I did an awful lot of crying when I was on my own. It takes a special kind of person to be able to sit with you as you cry. A friend of mine said sorry when she was crying. I said, after over forty years of friendship, if she couldn’t cry with me, where could she?
Aww Rebecca , as always, this post is thought provoking. You observe so astutely. 1:15 and 1:1000, perceived almost the wrong way round if you know what I mean. It just goes to show that it is ‘how’ news is perceived, somehow determines what it is. Whatever it is you are processing/grappling with right now, I hope you find peace and clarity with it soon. Best Wishes 👯♀️xx
Thanks Maria … you know what it’s like…the news keeps coming and you have to deal with it the best you can but by God it’s hard. Hope all ok with you, let me know how you are going, hope you are ok and have given a big 🖕to all that does not serve you. 👯♀️ xx
That doctor should have been trained by the midwives who trained me… hold the space and enter without judgement and preconception.. news is just news, the value is not ours to decide but the people we deliver it to and all emotions are valid, fluid and important to witness. I’m sorry you didn’t get the experience you deserved.
I will be ok… (which my Catholic guilt will punish me for)… just need to let it all wash over me without judgement or panic and see where I land. I will land though. I have to and I always do. Thanks for you thoughts M x
I will land, I always do, sometimes face down but don’t we all? Feel a bit better today, a bit more in control… trying to accept what I cannot change and all that… thanks M for being there for me… it’s normally me that helps people so I’m so grateful for you and everyone here who has offered me a soft landing. 🛬 ❤️
Thank you for this insight and the sharing. I long for the day...and I am working on it...when any news is just that. No labels, no judgement, just information I didn't know before and acceptance. ❤️🇨🇦
Sometimes I hate news. Like "you have breast cancer" kind of news. Even worse, "No, it's not ER+ it's triple negative." So many pieces of news have been surprising, shocking, or oh well, blah, blah, blah. Some news is good news. I haven't had enough of that lately. I think I'm due some, don't you?! 😉
Excellent post Rebecca - and we've all been that cocky person at the beginning of our careers. Some take a much longer time to learn. Whatever it is that you're dealing with, I know from experience that it is hardest of all to apply your hard won wisdom to yourself. Be gentle with yourself and don't expect that you should be coping better than you are!
Thank you so much Diana… thank you for giving me permission to allow myself to not cope like I think I should.. I needed that and I appreciate your wisdom and sixth sense. X
Thanks Rebecca for this interesting conversation here even without the details of what you are pondering.
Thanks Sylvia, rest assured I’m fine, processing and sitting with my thoughts and feelings (however uncomfortable that might be). We are all processing so much ‘news’ aren’t we, personal, professional, political… I keep telling myself, ‘it’s just news’… try it X
Thanks Rebecca.
Hi rebecca. Lovely piece thank you for sharing. Wishing you process and sort your own big news peacefully xxx
Thank you Karen… I’m certainly aiming for a bit of peace, I really appreciate your support xxx
A great piece, Rebecca. Sending you a hug. You don’t have to be in the eye of the storm to feel its force xx
Oh this is so true Maureen and so wise. Thank you so much for your understanding xx
I can think of several times when I've received life changing news and the most helpful thing was when someone could just be with me and listen to how it felt for me. The most difficult times have been when I've tried to take the weight of that news for others and didn't talk about how it affected me. For someone to sit and listen without trying to fix anything is a gift .
Karen 💫
Yes, no apologies for crying ever with me… get it all out, snot and all… I’m here for it.
Thanks for the hugs Suze 🤗
That really is the gift Karen… just sitting and being and keeping that space wide open whilst being able to reflect silently on our own emotions and thoughts. Done well it can make such a difference but I like you often want to ‘make it better’ (have felt like this all week). I’m trying just to hold the space, make myself available but manage my own emotions in the process. Tough week, but writing has helped plus all the amazing support of this community. 💫
I have received and given life changing news. And, as you say, the best response from others was being given time and space to process it all. Not to try to fix it, or tell me how to feel (the amount of times people said “oh, don’t cry, he wouldn’t want you to be upset” after my husband died was l lot, and I bloomin’ hope he wanted me to be upset because I’d I wasn’t, did I even love him?)
No judgment, no panic, Rebecca. Just give yourself time and space to let it filter through your mind and I hope you have trusted people to talk to.
Thanks so much Suze… time and space, so important but so difficult when you just want to rush to make it all better. Have spoken to a few friends today and cried when I have needed to.
A good cry is a natural antidepressant. It is so tempting to try and stop people’s tears with platitudes but the body knows what it needs and there is healing in tears. Thanks for your kind words and support. What an amazing community this is … in such a cruel world.
Apologies for all the typos 🤦♀️
Yes, time, space and being able to cry are so important. I did an awful lot of crying when I was on my own. It takes a special kind of person to be able to sit with you as you cry. A friend of mine said sorry when she was crying. I said, after over forty years of friendship, if she couldn’t cry with me, where could she?
Sending hugs xxx
In case you need it: (((((((Hug)))))))
Aw thanks Dilli… gratefully received 🤗
Aww Rebecca , as always, this post is thought provoking. You observe so astutely. 1:15 and 1:1000, perceived almost the wrong way round if you know what I mean. It just goes to show that it is ‘how’ news is perceived, somehow determines what it is. Whatever it is you are processing/grappling with right now, I hope you find peace and clarity with it soon. Best Wishes 👯♀️xx
Thanks Maria … you know what it’s like…the news keeps coming and you have to deal with it the best you can but by God it’s hard. Hope all ok with you, let me know how you are going, hope you are ok and have given a big 🖕to all that does not serve you. 👯♀️ xx
We were told that our beautiful newborn baby girl had Downs Syndrome by being handed a leaflet by an out of his depth junior doctor!
That doctor should have been trained by the midwives who trained me… hold the space and enter without judgement and preconception.. news is just news, the value is not ours to decide but the people we deliver it to and all emotions are valid, fluid and important to witness. I’m sorry you didn’t get the experience you deserved.
Wow. I mean, damm that was a well written essay. I hope you are ok though
I will be ok… (which my Catholic guilt will punish me for)… just need to let it all wash over me without judgement or panic and see where I land. I will land though. I have to and I always do. Thanks for you thoughts M x
Yeah you have to land, and safely...you cant leave me hanging! But seriously,please take care 😊
I will land, I always do, sometimes face down but don’t we all? Feel a bit better today, a bit more in control… trying to accept what I cannot change and all that… thanks M for being there for me… it’s normally me that helps people so I’m so grateful for you and everyone here who has offered me a soft landing. 🛬 ❤️
Thank you for this insight and the sharing. I long for the day...and I am working on it...when any news is just that. No labels, no judgement, just information I didn't know before and acceptance. ❤️🇨🇦
Oh I’m working on it too Cath…I am a work in progress (who often slips back). But I’ll keep on trying… we have to don’t we? ❤️🇬🇧
Sometimes I hate news. Like "you have breast cancer" kind of news. Even worse, "No, it's not ER+ it's triple negative." So many pieces of news have been surprising, shocking, or oh well, blah, blah, blah. Some news is good news. I haven't had enough of that lately. I think I'm due some, don't you?! 😉
You are overdue Kathie… I’m counting the days for you ❤️
Thanks, Rebecca! ❤️
Oh yes, this rings so true! Breaking news is never straightforward for us midwives/nurses! ❤️❤️